When I was in the 2nd year I remember being in assembly and eagle eye Clara (as she got up to leave the stage), asked me to "come and see her". I stood in her room wondering what on earth I had done. Well she looked me up and down, and said that she thought my behaviour was disgusting; I was a disgrace to the school and to my "sex". I was called a tart etc... I honestly did not know what was happening. She told me that I was to go home and think about my actions and that my mother was to come to the school the next day and I was to be put on homework report.

Well my mum went to the school, and she was given a dressing down for letting me come to school dressed “that way”.  My mum also pleaded ignorance, so we both were there saying that we had no idea what she was talking about.  Then she told us, oh my god, I had committed a sin!  The fashion of the time was to have small (or sometimes large) appliqué patches (like Sues stars), on your clothes.  I had put two small strawberries on the collar of my blouse.

Clara said that I was being overtly “fruity”. What a bloody farce, what sort of mind came to that conclusion?

Let's face it, Clara was a freak. I always felt that she was a kind of "Care in the Community" project from the Munsters or the Adams Family. Can you picture her nailing Bigger's coffin lid down (before dawn's early light) every night?

The april fool's assembly. It was the brainchild of Alan Feidler(?) I think. I remember Clara and Becker got wind of the pranks and originally cancelled assembly that day, only to reinstate it at Alan (Fred)'s insistance.

… spoof 1st April assembly ...with Clara falling off the chair, (having the legs sawn off of it helped I think).

I too remember the assembly with Clara's legs flying in opposite directions.

I do remember buying a maroon angora jumper for school and getting away with it for several weeks until it started to wear thin at the elbows.  I then decided to sew big black stars over the bald patches which was my undoing.  Well, why not?  The lads were allowed leather elbow patches, after all.  Clara banned the sweater and also gave me a detention.  It was great to get beyond the 5th form and wear anything you wanted (trousers excluded).  I wonder why this never applied to the boys? (not the trousers - the school uniform!)

While on the subject of uniform, I wonder whether anyone remembers the ban on patent leather shoes and sleeveless summer dresses because of their wicked implications.  In 1967 there was also a school rule that skirts should not be more than 2 inches above the knee.  Girls in years 1 and 2 were not allowed to wear stockings unless they were more than 60 dernier thick as thin nylon tights were still to be invented to go with mini skirts.  I think the rule was altered a year later.

I certainly remember the patent shoes ban. For God sake - we boys had never even considered the "underwear reflection" possibilities, but after that spent so long wandering the corridors staring at the floor it was surprising we didn't wipe ourselves out on the first heavy object in our path.

And following on from the strawberry patches story, I seem to remember Clara also banned crombie coats with heart-shaped buttons as well as smiley badges because they were suggestive and would have we lads panting at the mere sight of them!!

And as far as the two-inches-above-the-knee rule - didn't Clara used to have regular inspections in which she would make the girls kneel down in a line and take a ruler along to measure?

I remember when the sixth form english class were invited to Clara's house to read Shakespeare (I think), Clara and her "girl friend"?, who appeared also as mad as her, gave us refreshments on the lawn. I remember thinking it was a tough way to get a good grade, and I couldn't wait to get out of there. It's not natural to socialise with female teachers in their home environment, unless they're fantasy fodder.